last spring
i had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled
at the tail-end of 23
i didn’t expect it
at that point I thought I’d keep them forever
after it was over
i got high off the freezing
my face poured blood from between my teeth
but i laughed
at everything
i hardly cared about the pieces i missed

last fall
the love of my life moved across the world
to the land of the rings
and last winter
i let him go
the pieces of what we were naively building
scattered over hundreds of miles of oceans
just like with my surgery
i got high off the freezing

i met someone
when the wounds were still fresh
and he was fun and exciting
he made everything hurt less
but it wears off
the kisses
the wishes
those naive future plans
just like a local anesthetic
it only lasts as long as its meant to
then you’ll feel the pain
the way its always been

giving you up
was like pulling teeth
don’t be fooled by the way i pushed
it was easier for me to fight
than fall
there was safety
if i became the storm
i couldn’t handle the waves
sweeping your loving arms
and soft kisses
away from me
forgive me
if you can
our love was hard candy
not meant to be stretched
savoured, instead
but we ran out of time

unlike all the sweet treats
you warned me
about consuming late at night
our love was refined
and it did not rot my teeth
they dug up the bones inside my face
because they didn’t fit
in the spaces anymore
both of us
expansive forces
there’s only room for one of us
in each corner of the world
this universe isn't ready
for both of us
for all of us

now I run my tongue
along my teeth and gums
the spaces in my cheeks now closed in
i don't miss my wisdom teeth
but i sure as hell miss your wisdom
or lack thereof

if you can’t already tell
i still love you
and in other words that means
i always did

© Mary dela Torre, 2016