vancouver island-based author and artist

L.A.J., Part 1

For those in love, paradise is a playground
For those who lost their love, paradise is a prayer
For those looking for love, paradise is a promise
For those finding love, paradise is everywhere

© Mary dela Torre, 2016

 

Every single one of us is fighting for our lives
but making it look peaceful
on the outside
The struggle is real
and most often
invisible.

© Mary dela Torre, 2016

 

When I tell my family
they will be the kind of angry I can’t be
because they didn’t experience the height of their lives
in your arms
the way that I did
They will never know the way it hurts
worse than death
to lose you with us both still alive

© Mary dela Torre, 2016

 

I’ve been wearing the same clothes
for three days
eating occasionally
sleeping sporadically
Everyone I left before you left me sleeping soundly
Anytime someone tries to insinuate
we were nothing
I’ll show them the dead in my eyes and scream
“We were everything”

© Mary dela Torre, 2016

 

I am running out of tears
but the bottomless well of my love
is just beginning to fill

© Mary dela Torre, 2016

 

The pain stings
when it cuts my heart in a pattern
my scabs don’t recognize
It rips up my just-healing flesh
and I can’t go an hour without crying
That pain inflicted
by a man who was supposed to take my pain away
makes this no different
than giving birth to our first child
it is unbearable
and I will never be the same
but I survive it
and I love you
more than I ever did before

© Mary dela Torre, 2016

 

We had the whole world
and I know the man I held in my arms
for that time was not the man
who took the world away from us
You can love
and you can hide
but the past will catch up to you
if you keep it locked inside

© Mary dela Torre, 2016

 

My dreams for you
are as blazing and beautiful as shooting stars
as wild and untamed
as the forest surrounding us
that’s how I know there’s no one else
I’m supposed to go through life with
no one else but you

© Mary dela Torre, 2016

 

This is a nice place
but you were my real taste of paradise
Nicotine and desperation
you reminded me of second chances
The best of me
at the hardest times of my life

© Mary dela Torre, 2016

 

Giving up was never an option
even though I so intimately understand
giving up
feeling like the only option
Somehow I knew no matter what
I was going to make it out
and thrive

© Mary dela Torre, 2016

 

My superpower is healing my heart
and turning tears into ink
which spell out beautiful words
for the unthinkable

© Mary dela Torre, 2016

poetryMary